Angela, an ICU nurse, has released her debut memoir 'Forever 32,' detailing the profound loss of her 32-year-old son, JP III, to a severe asthma attack on December 1, 2020. The book serves as both a tribute to her son and a resource for others navigating grief, drawing from her personal experience as a healthcare professional and mother facing unimaginable tragedy.
While working as charge nurse in the ICU, Angela received a call that her son had been taken to the hospital in New York after experiencing breathing difficulties. Despite emergency medical intervention including multiple rounds of CPR, her son suffered a seizure and showed signs of brain injury. As an experienced ICU nurse, Angela recognized the medical indicators but prayed her assessment was wrong. Her son was eventually declared brain dead, leading to conversations with the organ donation team.
The memoir explores the complex emotional landscape following such loss, addressing common but often unhelpful platitudes offered to grieving individuals. Angela notes that phrases like 'he's in a better place' or 'call me if you need anything' can feel hollow to those experiencing deep grief. Instead, she emphasizes that grief manifests differently for everyone and that healing begins quietly, sometimes without visible tears.
Angela confronts the natural tendency to create alternative scenarios after loss, including thoughts that her presence might have changed the outcome. She references both biblical passages and popular culture, noting that like the character in The Flash who cannot alter fate, nothing she could have done would have changed her son's passing. This perspective helped her avoid blaming healthcare providers or pandemic-related delays in care.
The practical guidance in 'Forever 32' includes recommendations for healthy coping mechanisms such as walking, listening to music, and leaning on family support, while warning against destructive escapes like substance abuse. Angela returned to work on Christmas Day, just 24 days after her son's death and one week after his memorial, finding that maintaining routine helped prevent her from drowning in grief.
Family support proved crucial to her healing process, with her husband, daughter, surviving son, grandchildren, and close friends providing essential anchors. Angela acknowledges that the death of a child creates permanent change, stating 'a piece of my heart is gone' and that she will never be the same person. The memoir emphasizes that while initial support floods in immediately after loss, eventually individuals must choose to move toward light despite the darkness.
'Forever 32' ultimately serves as a testament to resilience, offering neither easy answers nor prescribed timelines for grief, but rather a realistic portrayal of loss and the gradual reconstruction of life afterward. The book encourages readers to cherish relationships and 'give people their flowers while they are still alive,' recognizing that each person leaves multiple relationships and legacies behind.
