After more than three decades in the medical device industry, Bryan Scott McMillan has a new mission: encouraging communities to show up for grieving families. His advocacy stems from personal loss—the death of his wife to cancer—which led him to volunteer with organizations like The WARM Place and Camp Sanguinity and to found Families with Holes, a group dedicated to connecting grieving families with practical support and counseling resources.
McMillan argues that the most effective help isn't about finding perfect words but about consistent presence. "People think they need the perfect words," he said. "The families I have met rarely remember exactly what someone said. They remember who kept calling three months later. They remember who brought dinner on an ordinary Tuesday. They remember who stayed."
The need for such support is vast. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 3 million people die each year in the United States, leaving millions of spouses, children, parents, friends, and coworkers to cope with loss. Additionally, research estimates that approximately one in twelve children will experience the death of a parent or sibling before reaching adulthood, highlighting the widespread need for grief support.
Despite these numbers, many grieving families report feeling isolated after the first few weeks following a loss. "We rush toward people immediately after a funeral," McMillan observed. "Then life speeds back up. Grief doesn't. The hardest conversations often happen months later, after everyone else has gone back to normal."
Drawing from his executive career, McMillan sees a direct parallel between business problem-solving and supporting the bereaved. "In business, we solved problems by paying attention and following through. Helping grieving families works much the same way. Listen first. Keep your promises. Stay consistent."
This consistency is backed by research. The CDC has identified social isolation and loneliness as significant public health concerns linked to higher risks of depression, heart disease, dementia, and other serious conditions. Supportive relationships can improve emotional well-being and aid recovery after major life events.
McMillan isn't asking people to become grief experts. Instead, he hopes they become dependable neighbors, friends, coworkers, and family members. "I've watched volunteers change someone's entire week by doing something as simple as driving a child to practice or dropping off groceries," he said. "Those aren't small things to the family receiving them. They're huge."
He also encourages people to stop worrying about saying the wrong thing. "If you don't know what to say, say that," he explained. "Then sit down and listen. Presence beats perfection every time."
McMillan offers practical suggestions that require no special training: call someone who has lost a loved one and ask how they are doing; mark important anniversaries and birthdays on your calendar to remember to check in; offer one specific form of help instead of saying, "Let me know if you need anything"; bring a meal or help with errands during the weeks after a funeral; invite grieving friends for a walk or coffee without expecting them to talk; listen without trying to solve every problem; support local grief centers and community organizations through volunteering; encourage children to express grief in their own way and at their own pace; continue reaching out long after everyone else has stopped; and share what you have learned so more people understand what meaningful support looks like.
"My hope isn't that everyone becomes a counselor," McMillan said. "My hope is that more people become the kind of friend who keeps showing up. That's how stronger families and stronger communities are built."
McMillan believes leadership extends well beyond the workplace. Whether leading a business team or supporting a grieving neighbor, he says the same qualities matter most: consistency, compassion, humility, and the willingness to act. "At the end of the day," he said, "people rarely remember your title. They remember how you treated them when life became difficult."
Supporting grieving families begins with simple, consistent acts of care rather than perfect words. Practical help, regular check-ins, and patient listening can reduce isolation and remind families they are not facing loss alone. Every individual has the ability to make a meaningful difference by showing up, staying connected, and offering steady support long after the initial wave of sympathy has passed.
